Every time that I’ve sat down to write this post, I’ve stopped. I’m not sure why this birth story is taking so long, maybe, just like its subject, it’s not in a rush to come out. But I know that if I leave it too long, I’ll forget all the tiny details and that would be wrong. It would be a huge disservice to my little one when they want to know the ins and outs and I can only remember the facts of their older brother’s labour. So like I was back then, this one is overdue. Here we go, second birth story coming right up.
I always knew I would be overdue. Again. When my mum said I might be early, I knew. When the midwife said to pack a bag, I knew. Night after night of Braxton Hicks, I just knew. This baby was going to be late. Like their brother. This pregnancy had been different to my first, there was no chance to take it easy with a toddler in tow and most days it would slip my mind that we were having a baby. I knew I was pregnant, obviously, but the concept of having a baby hadn’t really sunk in. Our main focus was to get past our son’s second birthday. With a due date exactly a week later, I was adamant that they weren’t going to have to share their special day. After all, your birthday is all about you. Yet when that (and a couple of days grace) had passed, I was ready to get this baby out. It was hot, not as hot as it has been since mind, and I was done.
Unfortunately, someone didn’t get the message. Four sweeps and numerous checks done and nothing was happening. No twinges, nothing. I had a few bits of ‘show’ but nothing ever came from it. I walked the entirety of our local area, often carrying a toddler, and nothing. So, at twelve days overdue, I went in to be induced.
I cried the day before I went in. I cried the night before as well. And the next morning. I was so desperate to avoid induction that I think I was too stressed to go into labour. Any small sign would be subject to so much scrutiny I could practically feel the baby grip more tightly in to their cosy home. I spent my entire time fielding phone calls and texts asking for updates, every time trying to keep calm and rational about the fact that time was ticking on and induction was getting ever closer.
Our last morning at home as a trio came and we spent it as normally as possible; we went for a long walk (no baby), I cleaned a bit (no baby) and then we had some time chilling out on the bed with our only child (still no baby). We had to report to Triage at midday so around ten my parents came to collect our son and take him to their house.
Oh and take this treat of a photo, our last one as a family of three and it’s horrific. We’re stood by the cars, I’m back in my pj’s (cos lets face it, they’re the only thing half comfy at that point) and I think my general lack of sleep/floods of tears/’what the hell do you wear for induction?!’ is pretty apparent but hey, it’s all ‘part of the journey’.
Waving him off was something I didn’t imagine doing. In my head, I thought he’d probably be asleep and I’d be focused on being in labour. I didn’t imagine strapping him calmly into the seat, squeezing out extra final hugs and standing in the drive waving him off. I had this completely irrational fear this time that something would happen to me, I’m not sure what, but the thought of it was constantly in the back of my mind when I’d wake in the middle of the night. It made it that little bit harder to not stand there clinging to him and sobbing. Instead, we strapped on our happy faces, told him we’d pick him up soon and waved like lunatics.
It felt so strange having said goodbye to both my parents and our son, effectively kicking off our ‘labour story’. Back in the house, it felt a little like the days pre-child. We had a peaceful drink, packed the last few bits in the bags and yelled at each other for running late. Finally, it was time. We were off to the hospital, in a car ride that was very different from our last baby arrival run much to Dave’s relief!
It was time to have a baby! Or so we thought…
It’s such a long ol’ birth story, I thought I’d break it into more manageable chunks to read. That and my fingers would have dropped off from all the typing. As soon as the next part’s up, I’ll link it here!