And just like that my baby is three. It’s the day after your birthday and I’m still reeling from it; the energy levels, the excitement and the rush of pure sugar that’s been fuelling our house for days now. A couple of days ago we had your party and yesterday it was the big day itself. Your birthday. The ‘fiftieth’ of May. The date you’ve been talking about since Boxing Day.
We weren’t going to have a party but you insisted. Having invited everyone you know to it for the last few months we felt it was only fair to give you that moment and you loved it. Sat in the sports hall watching you bounce on the bouncy castle with your sister before your guest arrived showed me that you wouldn’t have cared if they didn’t turn up, you were happy enough with that. And yet when they did, you exploded with excitement. A red-cheeked, sweaty haired boy who’s completely in love with the colour pink right now. I love that you are so confident in knowing what you like and don’t these days, even though it changes on a daily basis and causes all sorts of mayhem – you’re utterly and entirely you.
Then on your birthday. The moment where you realised it was actually today – not a concept or time far away but this very day. Where you hadn’t quite grasped that there were presents and balloons downstairs. Where you told me you were a grown up now.
Oh my big boy. You are so grown up these days and yet so small at the same time. You are a delight and a nightmare simultaneously. You’re stubborn, determined, friendly, funny, wild and timid rolled in to one. You love to talk about your friends and mention them constantly yet go shy the minute they arrive. You’re a ball of energy from the moment you wake ridiculously early right up until the moment you finally crash out 13 hours later. You’re exhausting and yet I wouldn’t have it any other way. You make me laugh constantly with your funny ways and your cheeky chat.
This year has been the making of you. Since I last wrote to you you’ve had a promotion, you’re a big brother these days. I was oh so worried about what would happen and how you would react but I needn’t have been. You have taken to the role wonderfully and whilst I still remember those early days where you’d tell me to put her away, she’s the first person that you look for in the morning. This year there have been times where I’ve missed you. Where I’ve had to prioritise her and let Daddy take the lead with you instead and those moments have been so hard. I’ve had to share you and you me and at times I’ve hated that. But for each bit of guilt, there have been moments that have been oh so precious. Where you wake in the night and want me, where you climb into my bed in the morning and whisper into my face (or rather on to my face given your lack of boundaries!) that the sun has come up. Where you want to climb into my lap at the same time as her or snuggle in together.
Watching you grow is my favourite activity. Hearing you play make believe nurseries with your dad or boss your sister around or tell off the dog. Seeing you become a little person, a boy rather than a baby is just incredible. I have blinked and you’re three. I’ll blink again and you’ll be in school, a teenager, an adult. I’m not ready, I’m not ready, I’m not ready and yet I am… I can’t wait to see what the next year holds for you given that you’re ‘a grown up now’. Although you’re about to find out that, despite your absolute confidence we don’t, grown ups do have to still do poos. Sorry about that.
Happy Birthday Bean, my beautiful whirlwind.
Welcome to three kiddo, I think this year might be our best yet.